How many AF members does it take to change a lightbulb...?

4 to post feedback and complaints that the post has spanned to a second page and clicking on the most recent posting link does not take you to the second page but drops you at the top of the first page.

But seriously, I LOVE IT!

3 to repaint the bulb

2 to wonder how to install the bulb into an ATX case

and 4 to say that they're having problems with their lightbulbs when all they need to do is reformat and reinstall.

1 to post the following:

Lightbulbs are are crap: They're too expensive and the light they produce is inferior. Everyone should switch to LED's. You guys are so lame and stuck in the past. I've never even used a lightbulb, so they must really suck.

1 to set up a mail scam offering a working lightbulb in exchange for a different type of bulb, never mailing his bulb after receiving one, then getting busted for his attraction to young lightbulbs.:ebc:

1 to claim their lightbulb must be an Apple prototype.

and thanks for the levity, things have been pretty serious around here lately!

happy freakin' birthday.

sorry I missed that earlier...

--DDTM

At least (3) to claim things were much better with the previous light fixture.

(1) to keep finding rare transparent light bulbs.

(1) who is installing a 300W bulb in a 40W socket (it takes about seven days to light up) oooh...that one's pretty obscure

...and the occasional request of where one can find licensed light bulbs for free.

...and happy birthday!

And:

1 to ask if a lightbulb can be made to work in an oil lamp .......

Well done....and Happy B-Day !

HAHA! lightbulb...dim...SL. something on unscrewed and screwing would fit here too but i dunno what.

Now who do I send this "gimme back my stuff" letter to? He's not on parole so not his old parole officer, I could send it to him I guess. Another HAHA for SL in Jackson, MI. I've BEEN to Jackson, I've seen SL's new home. Before he moved in though. I'm off to find that old thread and hunt down an address.

And it takes 1 old Apple ][ user to remind these modern computer owners light bulbs may be inefficient in general, but are a required tool for calibrating the interference pattern (on the inside of, with the bulbs' 60 hertz flicker) and subsequently the speed, of an Apple Disk ][ floppy drive unit.

new member who posts a question at the end of the thread asking how to install their new hose fitting.

And 1 to ask if you can install Linux, with another to say you can, then 5 more to suggest diffrent distros.

One to ask if it runs x86 code or PPC, how many Bits it processes at a time, what speed, and who makes upgrades and the question "what sockets does the upgrade work with
BTW: Happy Belated Birthday. I'd send a present but I'm to cheap (and poor).

6 to say that they need to change a lightbulb also

4 to say they discovered these new and improved "flourescent" type light bulbs

5 to say that "GE" light bulbs are VERY VERY FAR SUPERIOR AND EASIER TO USE than "Target" brand.

2 more to say there is no "Target" brand light bulbs

How many microsoft execs does it take to change a lightbulb?

none, they will just define "Darkness (tm)" as the new industry standard.

And Darkness will get royalties of Darkness™

I can then begin my certification institution, "The School of Darkness". You can train for the Level 1 "DarkOne", Level 2 "DarkWizard", Level 3, "DarkLord", or you can become an instructor... a "Minster of Darkness"...

Level 1 "DarkOne", Level 2 "DarkWizard", Level 3, "DarkLord"...

From the school commercial:

"Level 3 DarkLord..."
"Yes, my Master"
"Ariiiiise"

...or was that the Episode III trailer?

And how many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
Hey, all lightbulbs should be free.

And how many Linux users does it take to change a light bulb?
Hey, all lightbulbs should be free.

Of course, you will have to build the lightbulb for your particlar electrical installation. Once compiled and installed correctly, said lightbulb should never need replacing again.

1 person to come in a month after the fact and post:

How many AF members does it take to change a litebulb? Did you ever determin? I am in desprit need of litebulb changing!

HELP!

(hehe)

a few posts to say they will wait for the next lightbulb revision before installing, and a few to give good reasons why this is a dumb idea

I think im gonna wait untill Lightbulb 2.0 comes out. It's supposed to automatically determine what type of socket it's being used in and automatically reconfigure it's connection for it.

"You guys are so wrong. The lightbulb is okay. The problem is the poorly designed electrical grid system that provides power to the socket. We should all write nasty emails to our power company and let them know that we want a better power grid to make our older lightbulbs work better. The whole problem is the socket and what is behind it, not the light build, so I am going to build a universal lightbulb socket adapter that utilizes the native voltage drivers present in the pinouts of the existing socket and remaps them to accept any lightbuld."

--DDTM

The guy who comes along and tells the original poster that their new light bulb classifies them as a 'loser' or a 'poser', and offers to trade their 5-year-old, near-obsolete light bulb for it to save the new bulb owner's reputation.

::)

...well...

http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article09-208

I am here to tell you about how you can get a free lightbulb like I just did!

Go to http://my.freelightbulbs.com and you'll see! Just sell four cell-phone adapters to people hosting writing contests, and your name will be put on a list and when your name goes to the top you'll get your lightbulb!

Some of my friends and family were skeptical, but once I got my lightbulb, they all wanted to 'turn on' to getting one, too!

It's EAZY !!!!1111111OMG!!!!!!!!

God, I acutally clicked on that link!!

and one more to ressurect a zombie thread that has not been posted to in almost a year...

... bringing the grand total to about 241 AF Members to change the light bulb.

Make that 242.

1 to discuss ways of automating light bulb changing using nothing but AppleScript

i laughed so hard when i read this when i got into work today that my face hurt.... but the sad part is its soooo true...

and 12 users to debate whether or not the light was better pre or post the switch to Intel...

Cheers,

The Czar

and 3 users to remenise on what light bulbs used to be

and he'll post that he just upgraded his incandescent light socket with a fluorescent tube but can't get it to light and is seeking suggestions...........

Well, since someone has seen fit to resurrect this old thread, I've just had a vision. It's a vision that focuses on an image that was co-inspired by eeun's posting of this image:

...and the speech given by Steve Jobs at the 1984 Apple shareholders convention...

I'm seeing a big screen television...

Wait!

It's the Shopping Channel! They're offering Tiffany inspired table lamps for $69.99! Complete with three bulbs and shipping is included free! Just in time for the holidays!

Oh wait...

And the host is proclaiming, "The Shopping Channel has it all!"

Anyway, that's my vision. I don't entirely know what to make of it.

Are there any shrinks here that moonlight as dream analysts?

It's wasn't a vision, it was an infomercial for the "Light-Weight"........

It's a set of barbell weights that double as lamps when they are stood on end.........

5 easy payments of $249.95......

Frequently used by Swedish cross-country runners (as shown in the photo in the previous post)...

so, that makes a total of 258 af members to change a single bulb...

...ah, by the way, what are you guys doing this weekend?

I think we might all be having our own personal belated birthday ceremonies for BS. I maybe I'm just thinkg out loud here. If we all came over to help with your bulb we could all have our own personal belated birtday ceremonies together... Er, yeah. Heh.

Happy Belated B-Day, BS!

It would take hundreds of LEDs to light a room at night!! No thx, i think ill just go buy a 7 year light bulb

1 last person to grumble, "Personally, they don't make lightbulbs like they used to..."
Ironically, I find this thread on my legal birthday (actual one is tomorrow).
Happy Friggin' Birthday To Me...

I guess I'm 10 mins too late for your legal birthday, but have a happy actual birthday later today.

1 to ask if a lightbulb can be made to work in an oil lamp ...

2 to link the Holy Grail FAQ entry.
5 more to discuss the difference between AC and DC lighting, Edison screw and bayonet fittings, and the different sizes and safety ratings of each.
1 to explain the difference between watts and amps
3 to start a rambling discursion on the merits of tungsten vs stainless steel filaments, argon vs nitrogen vs vacuum, clear vs frosted, round vs candle shaped, spot vs omni.
1 to link to an Israeli team of hackers who did it, so it can't be that hard, come on!
4 to point out that they were all engineering majors, it took them 18 months, they had to etch their own bearings and pulleys, and it only works with one brand of lightbulb.
1 to point out that it only works with one model of that brand lightbulb, with a serial number between 5032620001 and 5032675999.
The OP to pipe up with "Bummer. Guess I'll go buy a lampwick then. I wasn't expecting it to be this hard."
1 to chime in about OLEDs being the wave of the future man.
2 to diss OLEDs and bring up optical fibre indoor sunlight plumbing.
1 to link to novelty Xmas lightbulbs with a circuit that makes them flicker just like a real oil lamp!
2 to point out that you can pick up decent lampwicks for pennies at the local Goodwill, often with the whole lamp and a full reservoir of oil.

and finally

1 bearded elder to reminisce about hand moulding candles out of beef tallow and rushes, which went out every five minutes and had to have the wick trimmed by hand with special wick trimming scissors, or the magic blue smoke escaped, and you youngsters don't know when you've got it good so quit your whining and just suck it up.

Hack FAQ
by Blacksoot and Dr. Gridster

Q: How do I turn this lightbulb into a lampwick?

A: Put simply you don't. Whilst it is possible to use a lightbulb as a lampwick it takes a large cash investment and a good understanding of chemistry and engineering. If you are lacking in either of these departments don't bother, buy a cheap wick of the correct width at a camping store instead.

If you really want to know more about using a lightbulb on another lighting fixture then do a search of the hacks sections with 'holy-grail' as your keyword. You can also try visiting Earth Lightbulbs for more info regarding the required convertor.

Here's one of the best explanations of why using an incandescent lightbulb for a lampwick is a difficult project I've seen so far, courtesy of Murphylawdodon:

Lightbulbs simply don't use the same energy source as lampwicks, thermodynamically speaking. It requires a complex wad of machinery to turn output meant for a lampwick into input suitable for a lightbulb, and that wad of machinery is referred to as the 'generator'. You won't find a generator you can salvage in your incandescent light fitting anywhere, because it 'speaks lightbulb' directly, and thus doesn't need one.

It's not just a matter of screwing it in, which is what everyone wants to think. Those generators sell for anywhere from $150 to $6bn, and for most installations require custom machining, assembly, plumbing and cables which may well run you another $150 - $2bn.

...

I'll get me coat

That's brilliant.

(Quickly hides the remains of his lightbulb/wick interface project)

so... what your telling me is i cant get this holds up light-bulb* to work in this *holds up oil burning lamp* ? damn :/

seriously, this thread is hilarious.

...it's a slow thursday in the office (and it's my birthday)...

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

Me too!

1 to get the parts and build it himself because for some reason, it works better on his socket than a "Generic build"
1 to claim he got his 24v light bulb on a 12v socket by rigging up a board to convert the voltage (i.e. 'hack job')
1 to say that candle power is better for you, because the new stuff is just a PITA to work with (we talk about vintage freaks!)
1 to say that they don't build them like they used to and burn out too fast
1 to say they overclocked the freq of the AC current to make his "light-bulb's rays show faster"
15 to argue that that is ridiculous and that you can't speed up light rays
1 to say that it will damage their bulb from overclocking
5 to say that if you do a burn-in test on the lightbulb, it will be more stable and won't go out
1 to say that that flourescent tubes (flourecent bulbs) will be going by the way side and OLED will become the norm soon
1 to be an early adopter of the "Super-bright LED Bulbs!"
1 to say that their battery back just isn't keeping the bulb burning long enough and they need help rebuilding the battery pack
1 to say that their light bulb's rays are not coming through (or only certain colors are coming through)
1 to say to "Run it through the cleaning cycle (i.e. wash it)"
1 to claim he got his light bulb running off of an unsupported socket by using a "Helper" socket and a relay to kick it to the new socket once the "Helper" socket get's warmed up (taking a stab at me )
1 to claim they got the wrong light bulb for the socket and wants to know "if they can make it work somehow..."
6 to claim that the socket that that one member above needs to set the wires right in order to keep from killing the electrical grid and anything else to
4 to say they want a "Distro" for their old light sockets and want to make them better
3 to say it is cheaper to buy a new socket and light set "Because upgrading is too expensive for the output"

sorry, i can't sleep and i thought since someone else brought a 1 year old topic up, i can't do much worse

(plus this includes some jabbing at the latest posts

1 to ask if they can change the resoloution of their bulb to a higher one by upgrading to a different bulb..

and 7 more to ask if they can use a bulb they found from another lamp in their own lamp with a new driver board.

15 more to say that it cant be done and forward to the holy grail FAQ.

one to put the lamp in a new case, and post it on apple fritter's hardware hack section

One to gut the bulb, run tubing, insert gravel and fish, and post pics of his new "Bulbquarium"